| Location | Los Angeles, California | ||
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| About Tom | Labeled the “Scourge of Delphi”—even though I grew up in LA and have yet to leave the North American Continent—I was banished by my people, the Lesser Mongoloids, for stealing the chief’s collection of toenail clippings and his original copy of the Last Supper rendered entirely out of lint and toe jam. After years of wandering aimlessly across the vast expanses that stretch between the hamlets of Culver City, Mar Vista and Santa Monica, a band of wild gypsies—who found my innate ability to be able to spell “epoxy” and recite the alphabet in its entirety amazing—took me in and made me the shaman of the tribe. Eventually, I invented the Elixir of Mediocrity that enabled all who drank it to do mundane tasks with barely passing proficiency and became a god. | ||
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Tom Wagner
General Information
Tom's Expertise
| 1. |
In my twenty-five years of experience as an experimental chef I have concocted hundreds of original recipes and am willing to share them, a thing few chefs will do. I won't try to wow anyone with fancy presentation, but will instead impress the taste buds. This site, eHow.com and three Southwestern United States newspapers have published several of my recipes. |
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| 2. |
I gained my bartending skills and basic knowledge through a course with National Bartending School, but as a writer with a vivid imagination and a taste for all things new and different—and a well-stocked bar at home—I have found experimentation fun and intoxicating... both literally and figuratively. Some of my concoctions are family recipes that I have refined, but most are products of my warped imagination. |
| 3. |
As one of five natives to the City of Angels who still resides here, I have over 40 years of experience delving into the glitter, glitz, slums and suburbs of this once fair city. I have watched mindless bureaucrats transform this town from a pit of despair into a tarnished gem, then dropped the gem into a toilet and jiggle the flush handle tauntingly. I have seen Hollywood go from a place teeming with stars of substance and class to a joke with a bad punch line populated by shallow beings of little talent but of great beauty, a place where everyone has at least one thing—other than political views—in common: they’re all insane. |
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Work
Freelance WriterSelf employedLos Angeles, CaliforniaI write to entertain, enlighten, shock, disgust and delight whoever is stupid enough to waste their time reading what I have to write. |
