What Your Pet Tells Us About Our Marriage

We hardly need to look at research to know that pets do good things for people physically and emotionally. Most pets are loved in a way that makes us minimize or even deny the reality that they definitely have demands we simply accept. Some are picky eaters and will only eat certain foods. Others will wake their ownerd up in the middle of the night, most will get sick on the rug, chew the furniture and will end up in the bed no matter what you say.

A study done by the State University of New York at Buffalo revealed that couples have closer relationships and are more satisfied in their marriage than those who do not have pets. Pets can reduce stress between married partners and can help nurture social interaction with others. The study also pointed out other ways pets have a positive impact on marriage:

–Pets provide physical touch

–Pets are totally supportive and accepting and not judgemental

–Pets can comfort and ease loss or dissapointment

–Pets can trigger positive memories

–Pets help couples relax and provide companionship and affection from a pet creates a calming affect in a marriage

In an article in PsychCentral, Clinical Psychologist Suzanne Phillips of Long Island University explores what our relationships with our pets teach us about our spouses or romantic partner. Dr. Phillips says, "What is interesting in my wotk with couples is that although couples may vehemently agree on topics, they usually both soften in manner and tone to agree that a dog, cat, bird or horse is great." She argues that we all have much to learn from the way we love our pets. People often describe pets as undemanding and given unconditional love.

Dr. Phillips suggests we can all learn how to improve our human relationships by focusing on how we interract with our pets. When our pets make mistakes we do not take it personally and are quick to forgive. We give them the benefit of the doubt. Yet when our spouse does something wrong, we often react with anger and blame. No matter how you feel, you greet your pet with a positive animated "hello" and often display physical emotion no matter what mood your in. With pets it is your lack of expectation that makes all the difference. You never expect your pet to be angry if you are late, so you do not head home defensively and angry as a result.

There is a natural tendency to forgive pets their trespasses–after all, the dog was not trying to torture you by eating your mail. In most cases, pets are home to stay. People love and care for pets of every size, shape and disposition. Few pets live with the fear of being betrayed or with the implication that things are not working out.

Think about what you give your pets–no grudges,complete acceptance, always assuming the best and you will always be with them for better or for worse, and you are quite likely to be more considerate, patient, emotionally giving than you are with your romantic partner. Something about love brings out the impatient, demanding side of us. Then again, a dog does not pay the mortgage, raise your kids, drive you to the doctor or cook dinner. If you want one of those in your life, maybe we need to learn from what our pet brings to our lives, and apply it to our relationships.