Do married men ever really leave their wives for the other woman?
Not only did my husband of 10 years leave me for the other woman, but the other woman is his ex-wife who he was married to for only 6 months 20 years ago. He left me and moved in with her and her 8-yr-old kid and now they have a “relationship” according to his online profile. It all happened very quickly too – it was only 6 weeks from the start of the affair to the time he left. Never saw it coming. In the 15 years we’ve been together, he never even looked at another woman. We had sex often and still said “I love you” to each other until the affair started. Then it was suddenly “I don’t love you anymore and I want a divorce.” Will they be happy? Maybe initially – they’re pretending the divorce and intervening 20 years (not to mention his relationship and marriage with me) never happened. But there’s a reason their marriage didn’t work out the first time, so I doubt this will last long. Either way, we’re done.
If you can say truly I Love You to someone other than your partner, your marriage is over. With a real I Love You, plans made together, and time shared… to be sure the other woman is no longer “the other woman” the wife is. I have been on both sides and the worst thing two people can do is stay together. This idea that “Saving Your Marriage” is some holy calling is wrong. You will always love on some level this person you call a spouse/partner but this whole agenda of rebuilding is wrong. I spent many years with my husband after he had a full on I Love You Affair. The worst thing was the time lost in the futile effort of “putting our marriage back together” and the fact that he lost her. Looking back she was the bigger love of his life, I was a good friend. Wake up people the rebuild myth is so counselors can make money and sell books. It is snake oil. Now I am not talking about short term and or casual flings I am talking about the years you spend with someone else not your partner.
It is crazy how you become what hurt you. My husband cheated and now I am the other woman. Maybe it is a weird sub-conscious way of getting even with the universe, I don’t know. Being on the other side though I realize that men cheat for a reason. Both the man and the woman are to blame no matter who is being cheated on. Men cheat because they are not getting something that they want most of the time and either have not tried to work it out with their wives or they have and their wives just have paid no mind to their please. As a wife I was to smothering. I wanted to be his everything instead of having the self worth to be my own person and let him come to me when he needed me. The man that I am seeing, his wife is the complete opposite, she doesn’t give a damn about his needs. I have a busy life and so does he so we fill in the blanks from time to time while our own children are the center of our own lives. I give him the conversation his wife never gives him; I listen. And he gives m