Does anyone have advice for dealing with a stubborn, negative, hard-headed, argumentative, cute little 8 yo daughter???”
To be frank, there are many problems with the kids today that were extremely uncommon in children when I was growing up or in previous generations. Corner time (aka time out), suspension of privileges, doing chores, etc. is nothing more than fru-fru garbage that does nothing to teach discipline. The way to get through to the kid is with a swat on the rump. I know that many people out there are against spanking a kid but, to be frank, it teaches the lesson quickly. Kids feel pain more readily than adults, so a single smack on the bum gets their attention quickly and they associate that displeasure with their inappropriate actions. Further, responding in kind to her might be good as well. An example of teaching by turning the tables was the way that someone my parents knew years ago trained his puppy not to bite. When he bit the owner, the owner would take the snout of the puppy and nip it with his own teeth. The dog would yip in alarm but learned VERY quickly not to bite. If a child fee
Basically for whatever reason your daughter has decided she can get away with what she is doing. Give her clear choices. If this happens again…this will happen and then follow through. From what you write it does sound like a bit of a tough case. I hate the line: “she is always the victim. She notices every injustice against her but doesn’t see any injustice she commits” This is the making of a brat and someone who feels entitled to everything. It will probably only get worse in the future if you do not do something now. I understand she is your daughter and you love her very much and I am sure she is mostly a good kid but you should change her attitude for her own good. I would recommend reading the following book. It is truly helpful in understanding the mind of an adolescent and why they choose to do certain things and why your daughter is taking on the role of being a brat.
What she is doing is negative and what she is receiving in return is negative. I’m guessing it has become a self-perpetuating cycle. Set up a system of, say, five stars (gee, where would I get THAT idea?). Except they are all worth something positive, with no stars being nothing. Email her teacher to enroll her help. When your daughter faces a situation where she does NOT roll her eyes or say something negative, one star. The more she tries to be positive or pleasant about a situation, 2-5 stars. Use real sticker stars on a real calendar chart on the fridge so everyone can see it and praise her for jobs well done. Make reward levels. I have no idea about her likes or dislikes, but something along these lines: 25 stars: out with mom for an ice cream 50 stars: (if she used the 25 up, then she has to build from the beginning…) $1.00 75 stars: $2.50 100 stars: $5.00 or something similar. ONLY use punishments when there is no avoiding a punishment. If she can collect some set amount in, s
