Does Jewish custom permit the visiting of the cemetery before the erection of a monument?
A. Most rabbis advise that the unveiling should be the first occasion for visiting the grave. A more liberal opinion expressed by some rabbis is that extenuating circumstances can exist to warrant visiting an unmarked grave. It is a custom among Orthodox Jews to seek spiritual guidance from a visit to the grave of a deceased parent or spouse. Should such an occasion arise prior to the erection of the monument, a rabbi may be consulted to gain permission to visit the grave. This is called “asking a shalah”. Q. How is an unveiling ceremony conducted? A. The immediate family should be at the site of the grave before the others arrive. They can then be sure that the unveiling cloth covers the monument. This cloth is given to the family when they receive the unveiling cards from our Monument Department. The family and friends gather around the grave. The rabbi begins with the recitations from the book of psalms (Tillem) and then he follows with the eulogy in English or Yiddish. After this h
