Does Watchdog get many complaints from actual dogs disappointed Watchdog isn more like Crufts?
Yes. We have a special dog desk headed by my dog Elly. She’s a working cocker. She’s fast, good-looking and very stroppy. What was your most memorable letter not from a dog? A company wrote, “We’ve been watching you, we feel you are suffering from Bell’s palsy. We have a new machine out, and in six to eight weeks your face could be straightened.” Brilliant! When a wine connoisseur described you as “a full bodied red” on The Weakest Link, you offered to let him feel your breasts. What do we get for a bunch of flowers? What would be your biggest desire? Now I’ve silenced you! Ha ha! Somebody said to Lucian Freud (2), “Why are you having an exhibition at the other end of the M6?” He said, “‘Cos they asked.” If more men asked to feel my breasts I’d say yes. I’m a desperate woman of 65! Sixty-five? Surely not? What’s your secret? The Holy Grail (3) Thank you. Er, face lift, running every other day, training three times a week, haven’t had a drink for 30 years and I don’t smoke or eat rubbis
