How Controlling Is the Relationship?
Before you can even begin dealing with a controlling relationship, you first need to know the situation. Is it the sort of relationship where only a few matters are highly controlled (as in, who chooses the date’s destination or who pays for things), or is it the sort where you never see your friends anymore because your loved one is insecure about your spending time with anyone else? Take a week, and write down everything you and your loved one do together, including who makes the big decisions, how you feel when certain things happen and how frequent your partner’s controlling behavior is. This list may give you the chance to see how this behavior is affecting you and your relationship, and it will give you concrete, specific examples to reference when trying to change things. Then start evaluating your own feelings. Are you always apologizing to your loved one or waiting to do or say something until you have his or her input? Do you feel as if you’ll be in “trouble” if you deviate f
Before you can even begin dealing with a controlling relationship, you first need to know the situation. Is it the sort of relationship where only a few matters are highly controlled (as in, who chooses the date’s destination or who pays for things), or is it the sort where you never see your friends anymore because your loved one is insecure about your spending time with anyone else? Take a week, and write down everything you and your loved one do together, including who makes the big decisions, how you feel when certain things happen and how frequent your partner’s controlling behavior is. This list may give you the chance to see how this behavior is affecting you and your relationship, and it will give you concrete, specific examples to reference when trying to change things. Then start evaluating your own feelings. Are you always apologizing to your loved one or waiting to do or say something until you have his or her input? Do you feel as if you’ll be in “trouble” if you deviate f
