How many tuba players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five: One to hold the bulb, one to hold the lamp and three to drink until the room spins. • Why would a tuba player get fired from any office job? He’s a low character, below the staff, and he spends too much time resting. • Two tuba players walk past a bar. Hey, it could happen!! • How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue. • Tuba player: “Did you hear my last recital?” Friend: “I hope so.” • An out-of-work conductor got a job as a hit-man. He got an assignment for a kill and was driving down the road when he saw his target on one side of the road and a tuba player on the other side of the road. Who did he kill first and why? The target – business before pleasure. • How many tuba players does it take to change a lightbulb? – Ten. One to change it, and nine to congratulate him down at the pub afterwards. Strings Quartet • The composition of a string quartet: 1 good violinist, 1 bad violinist, 1 really bad violinist who became a violist, 1 cellist who hates all violinists – all get
