Is communication a major problem for most couples seeking therapy?
Bosch: Definitely. When there’s a problem with communication, they’ve lost true intimacy. True intimacy is sharing your thoughts and feelings with a certainty that you’ll be heard in a caring way. Many couples have a sense that they were connecting better earlier in their relationship. Some partners don’t understand each other because they’re not willing to listen any more. Sometimes spouses suffer in silence without trying to make the other person aware of their feelings. Many stressors-money, children, sex, relatives, work schedules and commitments, different priorities, faith issues, alcohol and drug usage, or diverging interests-can lead to this communication breakdown. While stress is normal, couples must be aware of “red flags” that may signal deeper problems. These include growing resentment, distancing, an undertone of anger, or a sense that you can’t share your true self with this person because he or she won’t accept you. It can be easy to dismiss problems because of assuming
