Is it OK for my boyfriend to keep in touch with exs and keep communications secret?
Okay to keep in touch with exes: yes. Okay to keep it secret: no. Honesty is a key to any successful, happy relationship. Yes, it was wrong of you to go through his mail and shows a lack of trust. But obviously you feel insecure about parts of your relationship, even if you try to convince yourself you don’t. If nothing is going on, there is no reason to hide anything unless you’ve shown yourself to be unreasonably jealous and controlling . . in which case I don’t think he’d be with you in a serious relationship, so I’m guessing that’s not the case. There is nothing wrong with a guy in a relationship having female friends, even exes, as long as the boundaries are very clear and he respects them. By hiding these friendships and meetups from you, he is disrespecting your relationship and showing at the least a lack of maturity. Both of you are doing things behind each other’s back that are unacceptable, but at least you are owning up to it. Have a straightforward talk with him, and try t
