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Is it possible for an otherwise happy relationship to survive an act of willful cheating?

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Is it possible for an otherwise happy relationship to survive an act of willful cheating?

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You clearly love her, and you clearly want to be with her. I’m sure she’s a fine person in many ways. I’m sure you are too. Here’s the question to ask right now: are you the right people for each other at this particular time? I would think very, very carefully before moving in together. Here’s the key thing to remember: actions speak louder than words. Her words have been saying she’s sorry, it won’t happen again. Each time, it happens again. You know what? It’s going to continue happening again–if not with this person, then with someone else. I know; I’ve been in your situation. I find it striking that she a) tries to hook up with this guy right in front of you when she’s drinking and b) she not only slept with this person when she was sober, but she didn’t try and hide it, she called and told you about it. I wonder if she’s trying to give you a message here. It doesn’t matter that your friends say you’re good together. No one knows what goes on in the inside of a relationship, so d

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Zapping past all comments which I’ll read later and I’m sure I’ll find someone who said this better already but there you go: Yes there are plenty of situations where an otherwise healthy and happy relationship can survive an act of wilful cheating but er, no, sorry, yours doesn’t really sound like one of those. Why? Because: – you were away only a weekend, so the ‘I was lonely’ excuse doesn’t hold, it’s a the worst excuse anyway, except when the absence is at least a couple of months, in which case it may be acceptable rationally, if not emotionally – she was seriously flirting with this guy before, in front of you, and as soon as she finally slept with him, she told you; this is not just cheating, it’s cheating plus emotional blackmail, flaunting it in your face under the guise of ‘honesty’ (see, see I’m finally coming clean, I’m such a reliable person you can trust, am I not?), unloading her guilt on you, watching for your reactions to it, waiting for you to decide what to do about

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Is it possible for an otherwise happy relationship to survive an act of willful cheating? In theory, possibly. But this question doesn’t describe your relationship. If your girlfriend repeatedly attempts to cheat on you right in front of you and then does cheat on you when you are out of town after assuring you that she wouldn’t, your relationship isn’t otherwise happy. The cheating issue isn’t a 1% of the time thing. I don’t buy the “i’m scared because I love you and this is my messed up way of dealing with it” excuse. I think experience cheating on people in other relationships probably taught her that that is an effective excuse to use. The “my love for you is so intense and scary, I cheated on you to curb the fear” excuse is the cheating equivalent of the old “you are too good for me, so I am leaving you in the hope that you’ll find someone better than me” break-up excuse. Both are “feel good” excuses and keep the person from having to take responsibility for their real thoughts, f

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