Is it possible to have silly and humorous interactions with people without coming across as stupid?
Here’s a dilemma I have. I often see some people who trade private jokes, say funny/crazy things in each other’s presence, make silly movements, or sing along something to each other. OK, bear with me. When I read the above, I think that what this person actually actually lacks are close relationships. People who would qualify as private-joke recipients. I say this because I often find myself in situations, in a group of people, when I say something that is clearly funny or characteristically odd or whatever, and I get a lot of blank stares. And then I realize that I don’t hang out with these people enough for them to get it, because they really don’t get me. But then I read your question again and you do seem to be saying that you haven’t even tried to be funny since you were much younger. And I get that. But if you hung out with any group of people enough, you would develop funny stories/anecdotes just by being there. You’d have memories of things that you or others did or said that
I am incredibly silly a lot of the time, and I’m sure it has a negative effect on how some people perceive me. But not the people I love and the people who love me, and that’s all I try to care about. You can start by dancing whenever you hear music you want to dance to. Not whenever, whenever, obviously (although toe-tapping music tends to be noticeably absent at funerals). But in shopping malls, out on the street, and especially at bars or clubs where dancing should be acceptable anyway, these are all wonderful times to tap into your inner child. And that’s what this should be about. Ultimately, being silly relys on having the serious set up already…you engage in deep, broad, and important relationships with people, people you like hanging out with, and then you get to act silly with them! It’s about your inner child letting go just a bit. I’d second Improv, too. It’s a free license to be silly. You are also allowed to be silly with KITTENS and PUPPY-WUPPIES. Here’s the key: you ca
Also, the key to loosening up is exactly what you’ve identified. You stopped being silly in the first place because people thought your silly actions were “dumb”… but some people will think that today, too. Loosening up a little means not caring (too much) what they think. Even if people think something is a bit dumb, they may not be seriously put off by it. The world will keep spinning even if someone thinks your joke isn’t very funny. I think it would only be really off-putting if it was: offensive jokes, or silly all the time, or if your motivation were obviously “hey look at me and how silly I am”. Otherwise, some people will like it, some people will think it’s a bit dumb, and mostly they will still like you regardless.
Some people think any silly is stupid. You can’t do anything about these people, nor any other people. Just be the person you want to be. Become who you are, as someone once told me. That said, you should stay away from Simpsons/Seinfeld/Family Guy quotes as well as not being facetious is doing your funny bits with a fake voice. “This is me doing a silly butler line with an accent,” “this is me being fake authoritarian!” Stuff like that, if it makes any sense.
I have one answer to your question. I will deliver it in two forms, but they are the same. 1. VIDEO – Immediately go watch the video for Blind Melon’s 1993 hit No Rain. No shortcuts. You half remember but need to see it fresh. Watch it start to finish and focus on Bee Girl’s situation. You are Bee Girl and you have lost your way en route to your destination. Get up and go find your people. When you find them you can fly your Freak Flag and smile. 2. TEXT – I think DrGirlfriend has it the most right above. The issue here is about being yourself, not about better humor technique. That is a surface issue and is a distraction. Being silly, being fun, sharing jokes, singing – – these are expressions of the joy of living. Do not let people suppress this part of you through their judgements. If you are with people who think these parts of you are dumb, you are with the wrong people. I know that sounds like some trite thing Mom would say