Is ok to ask my wedding party/retinue to pay for their own tickets to my Jamaican Wedding??
This is a question of timing. If you invite someone to serve as attendant, gain their acceptance, and THEN you drop this expensive bomb in their laps you put them in awkward situation of having to either withdraw their acceptance OR give up a lot more money and time than they had anticipated. However, if at the time of inviting someone to serve, you give them a detailed list of ALL the expenses and duties they will be expected to undertake, and give them some time to study it, then they are free to simply not accept if they are unable or unwilling to meet the expectations. The list should be detailed. Not “dress, shoes, centerpieces” but “dress under $400, shoes under $140, one afternoon assembling centerpieces”. If these important matters were agreed upon BEFORE formally designating people as attendants, we’d have a lot fewer “wedding drama” questions here in Y!A.
Honey it is not your responsibility to pay for any of that. Those in your wedding party are responsible for buying their own dress shoes etc. You pick it, they buy it, it is part of their responsibility when then agreed to be in the wedding party. If you are having a destination wedding your guests and the wedding party are responsible for their own air fare and hotel stay. You should make all announcements in Pleanty of Time for people to save up if they must but you are by no means expected to pay for all of that. Even Gottrocks would go broke like that. Anyone who squawks needs to shut up because no one should expect the bride and groom to bare such expense at the start of their new lives. If someone cannot afford to make the trip…. Oh Well, show them the pictures when you get back. Don’t you buy those dresses!
We own a large wedding shop that sells a lot of dresses to brides getting married in hot locations http://www.societybrides.com , so I hear a lot of comments about this problem. I would say that the majority of brides who shop with us will at first give the guests an open invitation to join them at the wedding (this gives them the opportunity to offer to pay – and most will ask at this point). Some have found that if they say something like ‘We’d like as many of our friends and family to be at the wedding, but we can’t afford to pay for everyone’, or you could just say ‘any contributions would be gratefully received…as you can imagine it’s quite a task flying everyone out for the wedding’. Another thing I’ve heard is ‘We are trying to get a package deal for our flights at a good price, but it depends how many are able to come.’ This is followed by gathering a list and then trying to get a good deal on flights as a group. Once you get everyone into this frame of mind, it wouldn’t be a