What are common fears and concerns that keep people from actively grieving?
Many people resist grief because they think that what they are experiencing is abnormal. Most of us carry thoughts about grieving that actually prevent real healing from occurring. That grief will heal in time—in six weeks preferably so we can get on with our lives—and that if we just hunker down and bear it for this time period we will get through it. That if I start crying, I will never stop. That if I really heal and let go I will lose the person forever It is natural, though uncomfortable, to feel raw, vulnerable, alone. People are afraid of the intensity, of feeling overwhelmed, of not being able to stop crying once they start. They are also concerned about other people’s reactions—that other people will feel uncomfortable and withdraw. Friends, co-workers, even family members may not understand what you are going through. Many of these relationships may change as a result. A perceptive author Stephanie Ericcson observes: “Grief rewrites our address books”. For these reasons, many