What is a Walrus?
The walrus (Odobenus rosmarus divergens for those of you who think Latin is the dead language that will live forever) is a large brown and leathery pinniped with two very large tusks that stick straight down from their mustached faces. It kind of looks like a large two-ton seal that had a fight with a huge plastic fork… and lost. They start out in life the size of an overweight basset hound, and can grow to the size of a Chevy Impala. They come from the family pinniped, which is Latin for “web-footed” which could also describe a kid I knew at camp, but that’s neither here nor there. This is not to be confused with “pinnatailondadonkee”, which is an Algonquin word meaning, “stupid party game.” They spend a lot of time on the shore, sunning themselves, burping and rolling about like Rush Limbaugh at a picnic buffet. But when they are in the water, they are graceful swimmers and fearsome opponents, although one has yet to appear on American Gladiators. Vikings so revered this creature,
