What is the definition of a good tax accountant?

Someone who has a loophole named after him. When does a person decide to become an accountant? When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker. What does an accountant use for birth control? His personality. What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he is talking to you instead of his own. What is an auditor? Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets the wounded. Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year. How do you drive an accountant completely insane? Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold a road map the wrong way. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation. If an accountant's wife cannot sleep what does she say? "Darling, tell me about your work." When the accountant laughs loud? When some one asks for a raise. What did the accountant say when he got a blank check? My deductions have at last caught up with the salary. ...  more