Wheres The Emotional Baggage Check?
So how do you deal with the minor flareups of past baggage in such a way that it doesn’t tie you up for days? You can’t. At least not in the sense that you can concentrate real hard and make it magically go away. Don’t think of an elephant, and all that. But what you can do is understand that worrying about it will not make it any better, and may actually make it worse. You and he are going to die one day; your time together will come to an end somehow: this much is certain. And since you have a limited time with him – or anyone – wouldn’t it be much nicer to just act like it wasn’t worrying you? One day you might wake up and find it just that way.
What about envisioning worst-case scenarios? i.e. what will happen if your boyfriend did leave you? You’d be sad, but you would be OK and it wouldn’t be the end of the world. After two close brushes with death (myself in a car accident, my dad having quadruple bypass surgery) I have had increasing anxiety about loved ones dying. But it’s like Optimus Chyme says above — you will die anyways, we all will die. Worrying about it isn’t doing me any good. The best I can do is be present in their life, let them know I love them, and enjoy the time I do have with them because, in the end, we all will die. Anyways, I do find imagining worst case scenarios helpful, and planning for what would happen accordingly. What if your boyfriend does leave you? What would you do? I would argue that you would be sad, but you would be just fine on your own. If the thought of being single is too scary for you right now, then you might not be ready to date. Knowing that you can take care of yourself, that you