Which is worse – a partner cheating once or twice or verbally abusing a partner on and off?
There is no ‘worst’ here. Neither is acceptable. Neither would exist in a healthy relationship. If there are children involved and both partners are willing, cheating need not break up a relationship. But it takes a lot of work to be able to forgive and go on. Both are abuse and both can be a reason for terminating a relationship.
I would say cheating, only because verbal abuse usually stems from a bad childhood and can be fixed by therapy where as cheating is just plain and simple selfish and unforgivable. Honestly if your going through these things with your partner, either or, you really need to get out. Those are no grounds for a decent relationship and would never make it through marriage, and the thought of children being brought into a relationship based on lies and abuse will only turn that vicious circle around once again.
Yes this stuff is forgivable. But the issue lies in forgetting. You see, you won’t forget what he’s done to you. So you will resent him and yourself for allowing it. I have been through and survived both of your scenarios. Let me tell you they both hurt just as bad. Not one is worse than the other because they both shred your heart. When forgiving him you will still treat him accordingly. You now look at him through a different set of lenses. Now you see him for the cheating abuser he is. You begin to try less in making things work. You begin to careless. Eventually you begin to understand that you can’t and won’t live a life walking around on broken glass. Both problems can be fixed, really. But only, only if both parties admit to the problems and agree together to change. You have to step up and demand his respect because he’s not just gonna give it to you. Don’t enable him by allowing the abuse. If he begins to verbally abuse you, leave. Plain and simple. It don’t have to be forever
Well, I believe both are unacceptable. It is hard to decide which is worst. But, I know women who have experienced both situations. I know a lady whose husband cheated on her and she forgave her husband. They are still married.She gets bitter about it sometimes but she loved her children and wanted to make things work. I know another woman who was verbally abused by her husband. Everyday he would say mean things to her. Eventually, he started to be physically abusive. The woman left and never returned to him. Based on these two women’s experiences, I would say how many times it happens depends on it being unforgivable. The cheating husband learned from his mistake. The abusive husband did not and continued to do so. If either one happens continuously then the woman must leave the man and forgive him from a distance and leave him alone. But, I think personally, verbal abuse is harder to forgive because it attacks the woman directly and tears down her spirit. It is also a matter of time
