Why don people in abusive relationships just leave?
I was in an abusive marriage. I didn’t stay long, but I would have liked to get out much sooner then I did. The reasons why I didn’t: I was isolated from family and had no where to go. I convinced myself that my daughter needed her father. I could not afford to provide for my daughter on my own. I wasn’t sure if the abuse was really “all that bad” or that if maybe I could fix his behavior with my own actions. It was, and I couldn’t, by the way. I couldn’t “prove” it. Abuse rarely happens in public. In fact, my ex-husband was the most gentle, loving person in the world, in public. I finally realized that I couldn’t just stand around and wait for him to put me in intensive care so that I could have proof. And the fact that many of his friends still probably think that I am the wench that stole his daughter and ruined his life no longer bothers me. From my experience, abusive people generally “choose” their victims. Unfortunately for my ex, he underestimated my will, intelligence, and res
Aunty Em’s answer is spot on. What most people don’t realise is that the physical violence is just the external symptom of a much deeper problem. Abusive relationships are not just based on physical violence. There will ALWAYS be an emotional issue involved – domination, threats, emotional blackmail and manipulation, etc. My wife was subjected to intense emotional blackmail by her molesting stepfather, and it didn’t stop until I took her away from him at age 19. She wasn’t as badly affected as some women, but it took a while for her to get up the determination that she’d had enough. There are women who genuinely live in fear for their life and the lives of their children. They fear that the abusive member of the relationship (not always spouse) will cause them harm or death. An abusive partner will start often by belittling the victim, and systematically destroying their self-esteem and self-worth. In the end, the victim becomes convinced that the other person is right, and that they r
