4 Steps to Ensure You Won Come off Like a Stalker

4 Steps to Ensure You Won Come off Like a Stalker

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  1. Even though you may be perfectly mentally balanced and have no negative intentions if you pursue a little too much you will actually push a sane person away while unwittingly attracting a person who may be a few cards shy of a full deck.  It doesn’t matter that you are very excited about finally meeting someone that you would like to get to know or if it’s just that it’s been so long that you’ve had a date you are just happy that somebody gave you a few minutes of their time.  The end result will still be the same, every single time.

    Follow these four easy steps and you will save yourself a lot of heart-aches (if you are a woman) and a lot of head-aches (if you are a man).

    1. It is a good idea to set up an in-person meeting shortly after meeting online or being set up by mutual friends however, don’t come off as if you have no life outside of work and that you have no hobbies or social engagement options.  I know this sounds like “game-playing” but perception is reality.  If the other party thinks that you are desperate they may not see you as a high value individual and this may send a negative vibe before you ever get a chance to meet.
    2. Texting back and forth or chatting via IM with witty exchanges that make one another smile is perfectly ok but resist the urge to monopolize the other person’s every waking moment with such communications.  It makes you seem extremely needy.  Again, perception is reality.
    3. Just because you have established contact or had a date (or even a few) with a person do not keep checking their online profile to see if they have changed their profile settings or are online and talking to others.  This will make you look extremely possessive and insecure.  In this day and age even though a couple may have had sex neither party should ever assume this means an automatic commitment.  Until you have had “the relationship talk” it should be assumed on the part of both parties that the other is still actively dating others.
    4. In this world of technology and instant communication it is very easy to get a hold of someone even when they are busy.  People sometimes don’t check their voicemails often or emails sometimes get sent to spam folders.  Occasionally text messages won’t arrive to their destination for days or ever.  A good rule of thumb is that if a person has not responded to 2 different methods of communication (whichever two they may be) it is best to assume that person is either not that into you, or is just very busy.  To continue to contact that individual is extremely counterproductive.

    If you avoid these common dating faux pas you won’t make the non-recoverable mistake of the sending the message, “I am a super-creep that wants desperately to smother you.”  Instead of the intended message, “I like you very much and would enjoy the chance to get to know you better.”

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