Are you in a Abusive Relationship?

Are you in a Abusive Relationship?

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    Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person.


    People in relationships sometimes think the abuse is intense feelings of caring or concern. It can even feel like it is normal. Do you have a friend whose spouse is very jealous? Maybe it seems like your friend’s spouse really cares. But really, being over jealous and controlling are not signs of affection what so ever.


    Love involves respect and trust, not always worrying about when it is going to be over. If you feel un-easy about they way things are going in your relationship, remember it is very important to talk it over with your spouse. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship.


    Is there abuse in your relationship?  

    Abuse is physical, mental, or sexual.

    Physical abuse is touching or putting your hands on someone that has not consented to it. If you ask some one not to touch you, they should respect you and do so. Physical abuse can come from not only your spouse, but friends, family members, or even co-workers.

    Emotional abuse is teasing, bullying, and humiliating someone. Sometimes emotional abuse can be hared to recognize because it leaves not marks. But, threats, putdowns, intimidation, and betrayal are considered harmful emotional abuse that can last a life time.

    Sexual abuse is when someone forces themselves upon you after you have asked them not to. If you have told your spouse or anyone no, then it is considered sexually abuse when they try to proceed any way.

    In order to get out of an abusive relationship you have to recognize that you are in an abusive relationship. It is important especially if you have children to see what is going on. You must remember that your children may allow themselves to be treated the way they see you treated.


    Signs of Abusive Relationships

    They may put their hands on you physically in any way, including slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and punching. If they try to control different aspects your life, like how you dress, who you hang out with, and what to say. You get humiliated all the time or are made to feel unworthy. If you get threatened because you decide to leave, or they threaten to bring harm upon their self, that is considered abuse. They may try to twist the truth to make you feel you are to blame for their actions. They might want to know where you are every minute of the day. They are always upset when you wan to spend time with some one else besides them. Unwanted sexual advances that make you uncomfortable are abuse.



    Signs of a Healthy Relationship

    You can be your selves with each other. You feel comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts, fears, and emotions with each other. You don’t lie to each other, but you also refrain from being brutally honest. You give each other “Me time.” You make it through rough times as a couple without splitting up. You agree or agree to disagree, on financial matters. You treat each other the way you would like to be treated. You and your spouse deal with your problems instead of leaving them unresolved. You forgive each other for mistakes. You don’t tell each other what you should or shouldn’t do. You both listen without interrupting. You respect each others’ privacy. You willingly make sacrifices for each other. You respect each others’ individuality. You act as each others’ backbone, providing loving support without guilt. You show sensitivity to each others’ needs. You discuss and negotiate instead of fighting. There is mutual trust and dedication. You have a strong friendship. You don’t judge or force your opinions on each other. You take quality time to make your relationship grow. Remember there are boundaries. You enjoy physical contact together. You show appreciation for each other. Disagreements and uncertainties are a part of life. You communicate openly with each other. There is equal power between you and your spouse. Don’t be afraid to apologize to each other. Being prideful is not good. You and your spouse speak up instead of expecting the other to read minds. You both eliminate passive aggressive behavior (ignoring each other, silent treatments, eye rolling, stomping, hanging up the phone on each other) as much as possible. Responsibilities should be equal unless agreed other wise. Don’t go to bed or leave each other mad. You can live without each other, but you choose to be together. Don’t get to expecting anything from your spouse, (meaning they don’t "have" to do anything for you) because everything you do you want to do.

    So you take your pick. What kind of relationship are you currently in?

    Amanda Johnson

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