What’s a Cherry Blossom, Anyway?
Your Wonkette has passed by many flowering trees and has yet to determine, what, exactly, is a cherry blossom tree. Don’t be fooled by the Bradford pear tree, AKA the Semen Tree, which, besides umm, not being pink, has the awful smell of you-know-what. They’re all over DC, and dumb tourists are taking photos in front of them. Fools! So what is a cherry blossom tree, exactly? The Wikipedia definition is useless: “Its flowers are nearly pure white, tinged with the palest pink, especially near the stem. They bloom and usually fall within a week, before the leaves come out. Therefore, the trees look nearly white from top to bottom.” What? The best way to describe them is by process of elimination. Your Wonkette went around DC and took photos some pictures of what isn’t a cherry blossom, and what is.
