Does anyone have any good one liners my son can use in his stand up comedy routine?
Here are some pirate one liners Funny Pirate One Liners A pirate does not ask for directions. He relies only on his gut feeling, a compass, or a treasure map. Parrots are the preferred pirate companion. Monkeys are an acceptable substitute, unless they fling their feces at people. Then they are an awesome substitute. When fishing, a pirate uses either a sword, a knife, or his bare hands. Use of a hook is only acceptable in the event the pirate is missing a hand. Pirates shall always wear boots, except in the case of a peg leg. Then one boot is acceptable. Flip-flops are right out. Pirates do not cry, except in the case of the loss of a shipload of rum. When describing the size of a treasure, a pirate is required to exaggerate by at least 130%. Flowers are not treasure under any circumstances, unless said flowers are made out of gold. A pirate shall never wear lipstick, nail polish, or capri pants. Actually, that kinda goes without saying. No pirate shall discuss his feelings, unless hi
