Does online chemistry translate into physical chemistry?
Don’t discount the importance of physical attraction, however. That’s almost always a dealbreaker in these things. This is the kicker. You’re correct; online chemistry does not necessarily mean you’ll have in-person chemistry. Even if the person is attractive. I’ve met a handful of boys I’ve chatted with online, and there was no rhyme or reason to how the words matched up the person. That’s why I’ve given up on online-dating (for the time being, anyway; I’ll probably try again come spring)- there’s no way to find chemistry online.
My SO and I met during college but we were both in other relationships. Still, we worked together and had mutual admiration for one another but never anything other than “Hey, nice to see you” and a couple of beers after work. After graduation, I came across his email and we started emailing. The first email was essentially, “Not sure if you remember me but…” Over time we became each other’s confidants and best friends. We were both in other relationships but I suppose we provided to each other the thing that was most lacking in our relationships — shared interests, intellectual depth, same humor… After about 4-5 years, when both of our relationships had/were ending we had this disclosure…it was odd, awkward and wonderful. The thing was, I wasn’t sure it would be able to translate into a physical attraction. I knew I loved him but I hadn’t been attracted to him physically when I first knew him — not that he wasn’t attractive I had just never thought of him that way. We have now
My very first long-term SO was met online, and by the time we migrated to the phone I was already smitten. When we met in real life, the progression to dating was an easy one and we were together a few years before it ended like most teenage romances do. A good friend of mine fell in love with a fellow MMO player and travelled from Calgary, Alberta to TX to meet her after an online courtship. He came home with an entertainingly complicated STD that will likely impact the rest of his life. He and the girl didn’t remain an item very long after their meet-up, although to everyone’s credit, I really don’t think the infection had much to do with that. Ah, geek love.
I would like to add that the number of disappointing stories here, compared to the number of good stories, probably isn’t all that different from the bad/good ratio of stories about relationships that started in person. Really, MOST relationships end, many in heartbreak or disappointment… There’s a few extra caveats about meeting people online, but I think there’s a few bonuses too if you can get to know some things about them that they might not have revealed as quickly in person… /only ever met 1 person from online, and it was actually a total coincidence/accident – it was unplanned.
