Does the fact that i study black magik make me evil and scary?
No, I’m sorry, but you don’t scare me, and you are probably not evil. Studying black magic is just a waste of time. Start doing something useful and real like origami. If you believe in these things all you do is put yourself in the power of human beings who want to manipulate you for various motives, You will be lucky if all they want is your money. You must learn to stand on your own feet and face up to the fact that life is pretty boring. Evil is banal, and stupid. Your problem appears to be that you are a dualist. This is probably too limiting. Try to think about the possibility that life is more complicated than that.
You only study it so a student is never scary – if you held the hand of the devil and put the study into practice then society would eventually lock you up so it would be better if you studied environmental issues and helped to Save the Whale because its more constructive and its better for your own life to be constructive rather than destructive because constructive people have friends and destructive people have enemies. He who lives by the sword dies by the sword.
