Pout much?
Non-Fiction section. Seriously, these are tales that make emus cry. I know – I was there, collecting emu tears into Tupperware and scampering off into the undergrowth before the media hordes descended. I was brought by the bedside of a blind woman, where I anointed her eyes with emu tears, and lo and behold, she sprang up, her sight restored, singing Stevie Wonder. However, it was not a Stevie song that I enjoyed, and I was forced to pluck out the woman’s eyes in order to restore balance. I think you might have seen all this on a recent CSI. Anyway, the important thing here is that if you wanted to know more about him than what he’d posted to this site, you could intimidate his family and friends with offers of large cash payouts for big four page spreads in US magazine. His sister will wear a bikini for that. I don’t know why I’m telling you this.
