the time. So, in biblical times, what did men do in such a situation?
Well, until a millenium ago or so, when Rabbeinu Gershom enacted some new legislation, only men and abused wives had the power to initiate a divorce. This meant that there was no way for a woman to get out of an unhappy but not abusive marriage. The courts would get involved in various issues to guarantee her happiness, including sex. Note also that a women refusing marital relations can be deemed “rebellious” and be fined from the money due to her upon divorce, to such an extent that the man will eventually be able to divorce her without any divorce settlement at all. This balances a man’s obligation, to some extent. Also note that, in such a case, a real-world beis din would typically try to get them to go to counseling. Thus, it was assumed that if a man felt that he would be happier without her than with her, he would divorce her. Sex is a significant part of that–but not the only part. Further, it was a given that if the marriage was otherwise happy, the actual divorce wouldn’t b
