What is the matter with me?
You seem so guilty for things that aren’t your fault. Why? Maybe you’ve always been in a responsible role, but it’s not your fault if things go wrong, such as children being molested. Your son sounds like a really special little boy, try to make it so you see him as more of a reason to be happy, and less like an obstacle in your way. I understand that you probably wish he had better circumstances, and was perfectly healthy, but that’s the way he’s meant to be. He sounds like a little angel. As a person who was abused as a child, I appreciate that you care so much for children’s plight, but again, you’re taking the blame for something that isn’t your fault. Children get over things like that eventually. It isn’t worth punishing yourself over unless it happened to a child close to you. You shouldn’t feel inept either for not cleaning the house, I hire a cleaner to come in three days a week to clean my house! You shouldn’t feel like such a failure – it’s a minor thing. Focus on your good
