Whats the biggest problem relationships will have when theres a newborn there?
Tiredness/exhaustion would definitely be the biggest issue. its hard to see anything straight when you are both tired. Finances can be hard too especially if you go down to one income without any govt assistance. Wev found the best thing is to be open and honest with each other…theres no point denying your tired or worried about money or any issues. My partner changed his hours a little so he was home earlier in the day and that meant he could look after baby while I either took a nap or caught up on housework. The biggest advice I can giveis to make sure you do not shut down communcation.
The problem that I had after my son was born was that my boyfriend didn’t help me out and he always wanted to spend time with his friends. Before our son was born we discussed and agreed that we were going to be a family and friend would have to take a back burner to our lives. After our son was born my boyfriend’s friends would come over between 6-7 so I was feeding them half the time. Then they would stay until midnight. For about 3 months I didn’t get to spend any quality time with just my boyfriend. I would put my son to bed at 8 and be in bed myself by 10 I felt like a single mom. I have a new boyfriend now, not because of the reason above, but we have a schedule for the week. One night a week he goes out with the guys (his friends are dads) one night a week I got out with the girls, one night a week we go out as a couple with friends and then 4 nights a week we spend time at home with each other. He also doesn’t go out with the guys until MY son is in bed.
The biggest problem for me and my fiance was the fact that he thought that when I was home with the baby during the day (I work, but this was early on during my maternity leave), that I was basically sitting around with my feet up drinking daquiris and getting massaged like I was on vaca at a spa….He didn’t realize all the “work” it took to be home with a child. Yes, he was working really crummy hours (at work at 4:30am) so he was tired when he got home, and thought he could just take a nap and relax…until I gave him a reality check to show him I’m tired at the end of my day too, and that I don’t work just 5 hours a day…I never get to punch out after a shift. I got up early one morning on his day off and went to my parents for the day. I left the baby home with him, I layed on my moms couch, watched a movie and took a nap…It was wonderful. When I got home that evening, he definatly had a new mindset!
