Whats the difference between a Christian and a paranoid schizophrenic?
One person hears voices, is convinced his thoughts and actions are known to some outside power, thinks the world was designed and created for him and that he is central to everything that goes on, is sure he’s part of a special divine mission, believes that ordinary everyday events have some special transcendent meaning visible only to him, sometimes speaks in incoherent babbling voices, and believes supernatural forces are at work to influence his actions. And the other one, of course, is a paranoid schizophrenic… 13. Statement: I will pray for you. Answer: Well, fine. But if you are going to pray for me, pray for bad things to happen because there is a lot more chance of your prayers not being answered than in them being answered. Then the result will be that good things will happen to me. That, of course, is disregarding the fact that absolutely nothing happens when you pray except that it makes you feel better to think that you have turned matters over to god. In fact, bad things
