When Should I Call After A First Date?

Three days after? Five? A week? Don’t over think. But whatever you do, DO NOT CALL HER the same day. Please make a note of this. You do not want to appear overly keen after the first date. You want to give her the powerful give of missing you. The more you leave it, the more she will think about you. However, don’t leave it too long. Contemplating over when to call after a first date has been a phenomenon with most guys and it’s a little funny that way. It all depends on how the date goes. If you had a great time and you feel like doing it again or even getting it to the next level and you want to call her sooner, but not the same day. Not even the next day, but the day after. You don’t want to sound so overtly eager. There is a good chance if the date went really well, that she herself will call you. That is something you would rather happen, then you calling her, as you now knows she been thinking about you and fancies you. But the important thing to remember is, asking yourself when

Knowing when to call after a first date seems like a question that would have an easy answer but, its a question I’ve always struggled with. If there are any rules of thumbs as to when to call after a first date, I’d sure love to hear them.

Dear Lori, So I met this girl last weekend, she gave me her number, and I said I would call her. I called her about three days later and left a message. She called me right back and we arranged a first date. Therefore, I took her out to eat at a decent place and things went good. Anyways, at the end of the night I said that maybe we could get together again sometime, she agreed. Then she gave me some additional contact info, such as facebook, MSN, etc. That was it; we both went out separate ways. When I got home, I added her in to facebook, MSN, etc and sent her a message with my contact info. After that, I waited a day and text’d her asking her how her day was. She responded right back, said good and she was at work. I asked her to call if she gets a chance. Later that night I got a text saying she is not looking to date right now and she just got out of a hard relationship. Did I come on too strong? I am thinking I may have. I think I really like this girl and don’t want to blow it,

No game playing allowed!  If you want to be an adult, act like one.  If you enjoyed yourself on a date (and assuming it isn’t 3 am) – why not call and say simply – " I had a great time, and look forward to seeing you again."   Every girl/woman likes that.  It’s not stalking, it’s part of the dating game.

After the date, it really depends on what type of people the two of you are.  Old fashioned?  There are still florists who will deliver flowers to her place of work – and I am willing to bet that she would be surprised/delighted/flustered — all in a good way. 

Follow this up with a phone call, and she will have something to say when you call — like, " oh – the flowers were beautiful."  Your reply of course is going to be, "oh, I’m so glad you liked them, I wasn’t sure what your favorite flowers were."

This opens up a whole discussion on favorite flowers, and can follow with a conversation about favorite restaurants, favorite movies, and would you like to have dinner on Thursday/Saturday. etc

Dating is hard, and nobody really knows what to say on a date.  A friend of mine put it very clearly:  "Why would I want to go out with someone that I don’t know; don’t know if I have anything in common with, and haven’t even sat down over a cup of coffee with?"

So, take it slow – but don’t struggle over the small stuff – keep it small and enjoy the relationship.

Call, text or email when you have something you really want to say to that person. This may mean an hour later as you are laughing about something that happened on the date or it may mean never because there was not enough of a connection where you even want to hear about their day.