Why does California have the most attorneys, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste dumps?
New Jersey got first pick. • What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog. • What’s the definition of mixed emotions? Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari. • What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand. • What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them, but you never see them. • If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? Shoot the lawyer twice. • How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, lawyers only screw us • What’s the difference between God and an attorney? God doesn’t think he’s an attorney. • What’s the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist. • What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other
